I rarely remember the gifts I received during the holidays. But I always remember who I shared the holidays with, the games we played, the activities, meals, and laughter we shared.
This year presents more of a challenge than years past for the holidays. With lockdowns, curfews and social restrictions, most of us will not enjoy the traditionally large family gatherings. Personally, this has meant not travelling to visit family in other states. We typically try to visit California or Ohio during the holidays to see our respective families. That said, I do appreciate the opportunity to enjoy our tiny family right here in Central Texas, as this is the first year in many that I’ve celebrated Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years Eve right here in Texas.
When the restrictions first began back in March and April 2020, my reaction was to try and make the most of it. Easter and my partner’s birthday were right around the corner, and even though I couldn’t book a weekend excursion or have a big dinner party at home, I did make an effort to celebrate. I planned a fancy dinner and dessert for each occasion, complete with cocktails. The house was decorated, I dressed up a bit, put on some nice music, and we enjoyed good food, board games, and laughter with my mom (who has been in our “social bubble” this entire time).
These holidays are no exception. We kicked if off this past Thanksgiving with a potentially new tradition: no turkey! After some discussion, we realized no one was really a fan of turkey, and if there was any year to go rogue for the holiday, 2020 is it. So I developed a menu with a nod to the UK: Beef Wellington, roasted veg (carrots, beets and parsnips), mashed garlic cauliflower, arugala and mushroom salad, and mincemeat pies for dessert. I bought some of my favorite wine – a local tempranillo, and we indulged all evening.
But not without incident.
I had everything so well prepared. Mince was made a few days before Thanksgiving, and the pies themselves were made the night before. The beef was seared, coated and wrapped in prosciutto the night before. All I had to do on the day was roast some veg, cook and mash some cauliflower, make a salad, and wrap the beef in puff pastry and cook for about an hour.
Easy.
So, when I pulled out the store-bought puff pastry, imagine my surprise when these tiny little, cookie shaped things emerged from the wrapping. What!?
Apparently, I purchased puff pastry shells rather than sheets. And did not realize it until after noon on Thanksgiving day. So… I did what anyone would do.
I poured a tall glass of said tempranillo and looked up how to make rough puff pastry from scratch. Somehow, I managed to pull it off, albeit an imperfect pastry. But it worked – the Beef Wellington was saved, and a couple of hours later than originally planned, we enjoyed our unconventional Thanksgiving feast!
Rather than the typical Christmas movie viewing after our feast, I put on some stand-up comedy, and we enjoyed belly laughs while dinner settled. Then, after dessert and tea, we watched another stand-up comedy act before the evening came to an end. It was one of our most memorable and enjoyable Thanksgiving meals. Mainly because it was so unconventional, but also because we focused on things we enjoyed rather than sticking to traditions that weren’t as enjoyable.
This theme will continue into the rest of our December celebrations. But 2020 has posed a difficult question for me. As someone who advocates presence over presents during the holidays, how can we show our presence during social distancing efforts?
Furthermore, being the financially frugal folks that we are, how do we keep spending down during the holidays while still trying to keep them special… given present-day restrictions.
There are no simple answers here as we’re all in unfamiliar territory. But I would like to share some things I’ve learned during our Thanksgiving holiday, and how I plan to carry those principles into the rest of the holiday season.
Make Celebrations at Home Special and Meaningful
When there’s not a list of dinner guests to expect, it’s easy to phone-in a holiday dinner. But I encourage you to go all out and really enjoy it. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, or stress out over a ridiculous dinner. Just plan for the day to be special.
In mid-November, I started planning the holiday menus. I brainstormed dinners, desserts and drinks for each occasion, then ran the menus by my family. We made some changes and settled on a full menu for each day, with the goal of mild indulgence, but keeping it moderately healthy as well. Along with the menu, we discussed activities to break up food courses. Here’s a breakdown of each menu and activities.
Thanksgiving
Beef Wellington, roasted root vegetables, arugala and mushroom salad, mashed cauliflower, mincemeat pie, tea and red wine. Stand-up comedy between dinner and dessert.
My Birthday
Roasted chicken with red potatoes and carrots, house salad, chocolate and peanut butter cupcakes, red wine. I’ll look for an online concert or play for us to watch after dinner – I’m still stuck between the Nutcracker or Trans Siberian Orchestra live.
Christmas Eve Dinner
Baked ham, collard greens, arugala and mushroom salad, cranberry sauce, roasted veg, sugar plum cake, port, spiked hot cocoa and egg nog. My mom stays the night so she can indulge in dinner and brunch the following morning. We’ll have dinner, probably watch some funny Christmas movies, work on a Christmas puzzle, and call family members.
Christmas Brunch
Lox, bagels, cream cheese, “lox salad” = cut up cherry tomatoes, red onion, cucumbers, dill and lemon juice. With Bloody Mary mix and vodka. Open presents after brunch, followed by some sappy Christmas movies. Then probably a nap after our lazy and boozy brunch 😉
New Years Eve
Seared scallops and fish in brown butter and lemon sauce, roasted veggie salad, sauteed brocolli and mushrooms with garlic, lemon and elderflower ice box cake with Viognier white wine and champagne. We’ll enjoy funny movies and stand-up comedy, light some morning glories I have in stock out on our back deck, and watch the fireworks from our upstairs windows… perhaps even tune into our local fireworks on TV. Mom might stay the night again… we’ll see how she feels.
New Years Day
Veggie frittata with fruit salad and mimosas (if we have leftover champagne!).
For each of these days, I’ll do the typical “before-dinner-party” house cleaning to make sure everything’s clean and comfortable. Then I’ll decorate to make each day feel special – whether that’s putting up the Christmas tree, or adding a nice tablecloth and flowers to the dining room table, or setting out my birthday dessert for display.
I typically plan some exercise on days that I indulge. For instance, on Thanksgiving, I ran my first ever 10k! On my birthday, I’ll hike Enchanted Rock – a tradition I’ve kept over the past few years. On Christmas Eve, I’ll probably run another 10k to balance the Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day brunch. And perhaps another on New Years Eve.
Getting in some exercise and a healthy breakfast the day-of ensures a guilt-free and enjoyable evening of celebration. After exercise and shower, I get dressed up and put on a touch of makeup. I’ll throw on an apron while preparing dinner, set some nice background music for the occasion, and maybe light some candles or burn some stovetop potpourii.
Sure, it’s only the three of us (four if you count my dog), but these little things make the days feel special. And it’s a nice pick-me-up during a tough year for all of us.
Keep the Traditions You Love, and Consider Changing the Ones You Don’t
My original Thanksgiving dinner menu included turkey. It’s something we’ve always done, even when there weren’t many of us. I’ve never been a huge fan. I love the smell of turkey cooking, but honestly it’s the gravy and other Thanksgiving meal staples that make the turkey.
We also typically have turkey for Christmas too.
So, by the time the last of the turkey is eaten in the house… somewhere in mid-January, I don’t want to see turkey. Not. Ever. Again.
When I brought up the idea of doing something different this year, I learned my mom was over turkey as well. My dad loved turkey, so we kept the tradition to avoid his holiday wrath. But now that it’s just us, we’re going against our tradition and having a turkey-less holiday season.
We also began the Christmas movie binge watching on Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas movies. Because my birthday is a week before Christmas, I love this holiday season, and frankly, claim the last half of December as my celebratory two weeks! But, when holiday movie viewing starts at the end of November, those Christmas movies get old before the holiday is here.
So, this year, I took a step back and examined our traditions. I really enjoy our Christmas Eve dinner, and thr following Christmas morning brunch. And the Christmas movies during those two events.
I adore sending out Christmas cards to people all over the world, every year. For the last few years, I’ve splurged on some more expensive “pop-up” 3D cards. But this year, I wanted to take nice Christmas family photos and send out cards with a few of those photos. Considering that, I realized I’d need the cards printed and at my house before the second week of December to get them out in time for Christmas. And since going out to popular Christmas light destinations to take pictures isn’t a huge pull in 2020, I decided I wanted to take pictures in front of our Christmas tree at home.
And what better time to do that then on Thanksgiving day!?
Sure, it meant the Christmas tree went up a few days before our typical “Friday-after-Thanksgiving” ritual, but it also meant I got a few more days with a Christmas tree. And it made a lovely backdrop to Thanksgiving dinner, with even more of a reason to dress up for the day and make it special.
It worked out great! We got in our pictures before dinner, and the only thing I purchased on Black Friday was my set of Christmas cards, which will be here this weekend. A new holiday tradition in the making.
Thank goodness, we’ve never been the “Black Friday” family.
Last year when contemplating Christmastime meals, we wanted to do a more healthy breakfast since we’d indulged at dinner the night before. Lox became the winner, as it feels like a real indulgence, however it’s relatively healthy as long as you stick to one bagel and don’t go too crazy with the cream cheese. Another new tradition that’s sticking.
Why not take some time to reflect on the traditions you love and the ones you don’t. Use this year to experiment with some new meals, activities, and traditions.
Stay in Touch With Friends and Family
Christmas cards are a nostalgic way I keep in touch with many friends, old and new, at least every year. I take the time to write a note in each card – some longer than others – for a personal touch. It lets me reflect on each person and what they mean to me in my life. And in the digital age of text messages, social media likes and emails, who doesn’t like getting a handwritten card once a year? It’s a great way to keep in touch, and perhaps spark more conversation after the holidays.
Even though we’re not gathering en masse the way we might during prior years, we can still stay in touch. At the very least, I send a text message out to my family during each holiday to say hello and wish them well. I do the same with close friends. This Christmas, we have a few households we’ll call as a family. Some will be zoom calls, other just voice calls. All will be a way of sharing the festivities of the day.
While the holidays themselves are more for family, during the weeks surrounding the holidays, I find myself thinking about all of my relationships, and use this time to reach out to friends I may not have heard from in a while. Just recently, I reached out to a friend we used to have over for dinner, but hadn’t spoken to since the restrictions. It was great to catch up, and we’ve decided to try a virtual gaming session after the holidays… and will have an in-person dinner once restrictions have lifted. Our doggies are best friends too.
With everyone slowing down to appreciate the holidays, it’s a great time to reach out. Especially since some of us may be feeling more isolated than usual this year. Sure, a phone call can’t replace a hug, but it still feels nice.
Be Creative With Holiday Gifts This Year
For the past few years, I’ve gifted experiences rather than things. I find experiences make memories, and frankly don’t add to unnecessary clutter. One of my few gripes about Christmas and the holidays is how consumer-driven and materialistic it’s all become. Gifting meaningful experiences was my way of rebelling against the modern materialist.
This year proves to be a challenge in this regard. Given the social restrictions, I don’t want to give an experience if the receiver won’t be able to use it. Or, more importantly, won’t feel comfortable taking advantage of it. Things like weekend getaways, vacations, wine tastings and painting classes just don’t seem like the right gifts this year. So, I found myself in a quandary. After some soul-searching, I came up with a good solution.
Paintings.
I like to paint on canvas as a hobby. In the past I’ve entertained fleeting thoughts of gifting close friends and family members a painting as a Christmas present. But with full-time work and a hectic schedule, it never happened, and I relied on Amazon instead.
Last year, my first holiday season without a full-time job, I had more time, but still had a somewhat hectic schedule with a new multifamily investment project and a new puppy.
But this year… this is the year! I already have acrylic paints and paintbrushes. So I bought some inexpensive 8×10 inch canvases – two 5-packs. Over the past two weeks, I’ve been working away on them, and expect to have them all completed this week. Sure, it’s been a time commitment, but I have a lot of free time these days. And it feels like a very meaningful gift, which I think we all need right now. All of these are small enough to mail in flat rate priority envelopes next week. After it’s all said and done, I’ll have spent around $100 on 10 gifts. Along with $75 for 75 Christmas cards… which leaves me about $325 for my remaining frugal Christmas budget this year. It’ll be a good year for my partner and my mom 🙂
This year, I encourage you to brainstorm meaningful gifts. Perhaps it’s too late to do these this year, so maybe you can brainstorm ideas for next year. Bonus points if it’s something that involves a hobby you already have. An old friend of mine used to sew, and every year she’d sew pajamas for her close friends. If you love photography, perhaps you can have some of your best photos printed on canvas and give those as gifts. Or write your loved ones a poem. Some love quilting and needlepoint. I’ve been thinking about wood-bending for a year now, and might be making some homemade Christmas ornaments out of bendy wood for next year.
Whatever you decide, have fun with it. Make the gift special, rather than some random item you saw on an article called “Best Gifts on Amazon Under $50.”
In the end, life is short, and it’s these moments of meaning – whether from a lovely dinner celebration at home or from a thoughtful handmade gift – that make memories. Use this holiday season to make some meaningful memories of your own!