I wasn’t really prepared for life after leaving the rat race of my corporate job. My exit came a couple years before I planned due to a toxic work environment, and the realization that I actually had enough passive income to get by. Life after financial independence has had its ups and downs for me. And there’s a lot that no one really warns you about. Coping with Financial Independence came in stages for me, stages that may or may not be the same for everyone. But worth sharing.
That Vacation Feeling Wears Off in a Couple Weeks
My first couple of weeks post W2-life included sleeping in, staying up way too late, naps, and generally just doing whatever the hell I wanted. Which was lots of sleeping and relaxing. I caught up on shows and watched old movies. Fancy breakfasts with mimosas or Bloody Marys followed by a bubble bath and afternoon nap felt luxurious and divine.
But after a while, that vacation feeling starts to fade. Sleeping in and midday naps are just the norm and are no longer luxuries. And, frankly, they are no longer needed. I had been maintaining a huge sleep deficit, as I imagine most are who cope with the corporate rat race.
From what I’ve read about and observed in other retirees of all ages, the following stages deeply depend on the individual:
- Depression
- Boredom
- Pursuing Passion and Contentment
Lucky me, I went through all three. But I don’t think everyone does.
Depression
Depression is probably less likely to happen to FIRE individuals who retire on purpose. Since my corporate exit happened a couple of years earlier than I planned due to an overly toxic and stressful work environment, my immediate elation after leaving took a downward turn towards depression and self doubt. I’d spent so much time planning a future corporate exit, I forgot to think about what I’d do after that exit.
I found myself staring at empty days, with little social interaction and nothing to do. Sure, I had a few goals, a few plans, and some things I’d always dreamed of pursuing. But the feeling of self-doubt caught me off guard.
- What if I’d made a big mistake?
- Would my rental income be enough to cover my cost of living and upcoming maintenance?
- What if my properties didn’t sell for what I thought they would?
- And what if I couldn’t find the right multifamily deals?
- Even worse, what if I ran my multifamily property into the ground and essentially threw away my 401(k) investment?
- If I ran out of money, could I get another job given my rusty technical skills and lengthy absence from the corporate world?
It took me a couple weeks to shake off these doubts. And if I’m honest, self-doubt creeps in from time-to-time to this day. Addressing these concerns head on and doing things to mitigate them helped, like getting more involved in real estate investment and property management groups, and continuing my education in investment, finance, and property management.
Part of me also just had to accept a level of uncertainty in life.
Because even though a job might feel “secure,” that security is an illusion. I could argue I have more control over how my properties run than I did over my corporate career trajectory and job security. And once I embraced that, my self-confidence returned, and I moved onto the next stage of retirement.
Boredom
On a really busy week, when I’m looking for a new property, analyzing deals, and moving in new residents or turning a unit, I’ll spend 20 hours “working” in real estate.
Those weeks are ridiculously rare. If I had to guess, I bet I spend about 10 hours a week on property stuff. Mainly because I do like to browse around for new deals. So that’s maybe two hours a day… and I still feel like that number is high.
Which leaves a lot of extra hours to fill. And that feels great at first.
As luck would have it, before I left corporate, I had already planned and purchased vacations for the following year. So I already had some travel to look forward to, which helped.
I found myself taking care of things around the house that I’d put off for years. Taking day trip excursions to state parks during the week when they were practically empty. Utilizing my local library to catch up on reading.
Personally, without some daily structure, I felt a little bored and lost. Not horribly – I’m not really big on heavy structure. But without a bit of structure and routine, I felt like my days were wasting away.
What good is early retirement if I’m not taking advantage of my time to pursue the things I love?
Pursuing Passion and Contentment
Outlining some purpose and intentions in my life gave me the structure I craved. After some careful consideration, I identified areas I wanted to improve. Then developed daily actions to get me going in the right direction.
Now that I have meaningful intentions, I find my days easily fill up. Not into the crazily, overscheduled norm of those pursuing the “American Dream” via the corporate career path. Rather, I have a nice, comfortable rhythm to my days, weeks, and months.
Lack of Routine and Intentions Can Lead to Restlessness
When I contemplated meaningful pursuits and how I wanted to fill my time, I was battling restlessness. My lack of direction was a bit unsettling. And while I welcomed the freedom, I couldn’t help wonder if I was just wasting my days away.
So, I decided to reflect on what I needed to improve in my life, and where I wanted to be in the future, and developed intentions and goals to address both. Initially, my focus was pretty simple:
Improve physical fitness
This developed from daily walks with my mom and weekly hikes with my hiking group, to deciding to become an amateur triathlete. Becoming an amateur triathlete is no small task, so my daily workout routines became a huge focus of my mornings.
Six days a week, I would run, bike, swim, hike, or do yoga… many days, I would fit two of those activities into one day. Then rest of the seventh day. To support this, my cooking and eating habits adjusted.
Since I no longer had a 9-to-5 job tethering me during the day, I prioritized working out in the mornings. But mornings according to my schedule. Which, during the autumn and winter months, when I began this journey, began when I woke up around nine in the morning, and went out the door to exercise by ten in the morning. I took my time, brought lots of water, came home, showered, and made myself a home-cooked breakfast.
When the Central Texas summer hit, I found myself doing something I never imagined. I woke up a 5:30am to beat the heat so I could get my run in. Never during my corporate days, unless some soulless shell of a human scheduled a 7am meeting, did I wake up at that time. But here I was. Retired. Waking up before the sun to run.
And I love it. Having this exercise routine every morning anchors my days and gives me a sense of accomplishment. Even if I’m a slug and do nothing but sit in front of the TV for the rest of the day… at least I worked out!
Improve My Investments
Since investing in real estate is how I stay “retired,” I want to continue pursuing my education to keep my investments healthy. And while I was already a member of a couple of real estate organizations, I wasn’t very involved. I would squeeze in classes when I could around my corporate job and managing my small rental properties.
But now that I had more time, I needed to prioritize these organizations. I decided to take one class in each organization once a month, minimum. So two classes a month. This was a great goal. Even if I didn’t think I’d like a class, I found I almost always got something out it, if only a networking opportunity.
And these connections and classes pushed me to improve my investment strategy and schedule, and continued to challenge me to reevaluate all aspects of my business. I’ve met others in this field who can help me make the best decisions. And I’ve built a great team, including an accountant, a lawyer, a financial lender, a solid contractor, and a handful of other investors who have become my mentors.
Just over the past year, my passive income has gone up dramatically, my ROI has improved greatly, and I’ve shaved off operating expenses. All with maybe 10 hours a week invested. 🙂
Improve Writing
This took a lower priority at first, since I felt like my health and wealth should be my primary focus. And, frankly, they needed the most work. My physical health was poor at best. Granted, no chronic illnesses or major issues, but not good for a woman in her mid thirties. I could not run for more than 30 seconds and carried over 60 pounds of extra body fat on my frame. My investments weren’t performing as well as they should and barely covered basic expenses. I hadn’t planned for and budgeted operational expenses as I should have, and as a result, panicked when big-ticket items needed to be fixed.
But writing is my passion. It’s what I’ve wanted to do since I was a child. My mom still has stories I wrote back in first grade saved in boxes. I’ve had poetry published. Also published a few flash fiction pieces at a local newspaper. And I’ve written a screenplay.
Writing has been a tricky thing for me. I typically get a creative burst, then the pen sits dormant for months, sometimes years. What I’ve always lacked is discipline around writing.
So when I got into a physically healthy routine with exercise and proper eating, and found my real estate investment groove, I focused on writing goals.
And created this blog.
At first, I had one of my creative bursts and pumped out a bunch of posts. After an initial brain dump, I tried to write two to three posts a week. Then I hit a bit of writers block. Or, rather, life got in the way and I didn’t come back to the computer. But I recognized this a few weeks ago and decided to recommit myself to a writing routine.
I’ve eased up a bit. One post a week. If I really get into the writing mood, I’ll write some posts to have handy for off weeks when I can’t come up with content… then one of those lucky backup posts will see the light of day. I typically spend one to two hours writing after my workout and breakfast routine. And find I still have plenty of time for other things.
But I’m slowly building that writing muscle, improving my craft, and pursuing my passion.
Your Social Network Will Change
When I left corporate, I did not intend to stay in touch with my coworkers. It wasn’t anything personal. Many of them are very nice people. We just didn’t have anything in common other than work.
I find many workaholics have a fairly one dimensional existence. All work, and no play.
These are the same people that proclaim: “Work hard, play hard.”
And their idea of playing hard is getting wasted at happy hour and talking about, you guessed it, work. Only they’re drunk, so it’s more fun.
I get it, I was that person. And I hated it. So I wanted to embrace more meaningful connections with people after my corporate exit. Unfortunately, since I had spent so much time focused on climbing the corporate ladder, and then on my side hustle in real estate, I didn’t have time to make those connections.
So I figured semi-retirement would be the perfect time to make those connections. But this has been a mixed bag, honestly.
Turns out, most of the world is working during the day. So it can be hard to make friends that aren’t based on physical proximity.
Then the pandemic happened…
But that aside, lack of a social network hit me hard, and was more depressing than I thought it would be. However, I have made some meaningful connections in both likely and unlikely places. My network is small, but meaningful, and it continues to grow.
Family
My first focus was on my family. Mine is small, my partner and my mom live in the same city as I do, but my aunt and her family live in another town in Texas, and the rest of our extended family live in Ohio.
The time I spent with my partner and mom during my corporate days was typically… distracted. I would check my phone often, with some stupid work project occupying the back of my mind. Post-corporate, I could really focus on the moment and be present during our conversations.
Dinners at home with my partner have became an event I cherish. We do meal planning together, and I make a point to set the table to make our meals special, complete with background music when I remember. We talk about our day and critique the meal (we both really love food). Sunday breakfasts have become another meal we always enjoy together.
I started doing morning walks with my mom. This gave us a chance to be physically active and enjoy chatting with each other. Since I’ve increased my triathlon training, I only walk for the first 10 minutes now before getting on with my run. And since our dog is just over a year old, I’ve been bringing my partner and dog on these walks so we can enjoy them as a family. When I break out into a run, my partner and puppy walk with my mom and enjoy conversation. I also have dinner with my mom every couple of weeks to catch up, just us. It’s a nice way to stay connected.
I probably need to do better staying connected with extended family further away, but appreciate that my close family relationships are solid.
Fellow Athletes
Being active has helped me form new connections. There are a few ladies in my weekly hiking group that t I’ve become friends with, and we look forward to our weekly catch-ups. When things get a bit back to normal, we plan on having them and their families over for dinner and board games every once in a while.
Before the pandemic, I joined a road cycling group that had some interesting characters. Unfortunately, I only got two rides in before future rides were put on hold out of an abundance of caution, so I look forward to getting to know this group and making new friends when Saturday and Sunday rides start up again.
The YMCA has been a big part of my training with its swimming pool, yoga and body flow classes. The swimming pool drew me in, and the flexibility, strength and balance classes have kept me happy. I’ve gotten to know some of the staff. Every once in a while I see the swim coach who trained me for six weeks, and he’ll push me to swim longer and harder, or give me tips to improve my speed. I’ve gotten to know some regulars at the classes, and enjoy catching up with these ladies before class starts. While these friendships are casual, I still enjoy these connections.
I hope to join a local triathlete team when the time is right. Perhaps an official running group. And would like to get into heavy lifting. More opportunities to make friends with people who have the same goals and values as me.
And Fellow Investors
During my investor and property management classes, I’ve gotten to know other people in the industry, and have made a few friends along the way. Surprisingly, many of these friends also share an athletic hobby with me. Two hike with me on Saturdays (one actually invited me into this group!), and one swims with me at the lake during the warm months.
These connections don’t feel as shallow as my corporate co-worker connections. We don’t actually work together, and honestly don’t have to like each other or even be nice to each other. We share a vocation in this industry, and all of the funny stories and horror stories that go along with it. I suspect we use exercise to keep us sane.
It’s nice to know people that do what you do, especially when it’s not a typical job. For those who choose to invest in the stock market, I think having friends who invest in stocks and live off the dividends would be just as beneficial as my real estate buddies. We live a different life. Not tethered to a nine-to-five. We think less about daily goals, more about tax implications, our annual budgets and local legislation. It’s good to have a friend or two to talk shop with.
Fellow Hobbyists
Once you’ve become financially independent, you are free to explore your hobbies and passions. Frankly, this is the huge allure of this independence. The freedom to do whatever you want.
And that “whatever you want” is different for everyone.
Personally, writing is pretty high up there. A few months ago I found myself getting into landscaping and gardening when my partner and I started reimagining our backyard. There’s a sewing machine upstairs that I’ve had my eye on lately. And thanks to the approaching holiday season, my drive to cook and bake yummy things is on the rise.
In the eighteen or so months since I left corporate, my hobbies have changed and shifted. Some hobbies get more focus some months than others. I used to paint canvases and read at least one book a week. I had a short stint with Zumba classes before I realized I did not like them. And my fondness of board games grew much more than I ever expected. Spoiler alert, I’ve asked for D&D this Christmas… so that’s the level of nerd I’m at right now 😉
Whatever your hobbies are, I encourage you to use those interests as a way to connect with others. Don’t be afraid to try new hobbies. You probably won’t like all of them, and that’s okay. You may discover new hobbies. Some might add more value to your life than others. Only you can decide which hobbies are right for you.
And even with a pandemic going on, we can find ways to connect with others while mastering our crafts. One of my favorite things to do is take online classes. Sure, you don’t get the same face-to-face time as you would in an in-person class, but you will learn new skills and perhaps chat with a couple people about your hobby. Online groups and meetups are another great opportunity to meet others and grow your skills. And, as the restrictions let up, those online gatherings can turn into in-person meetups. Either way, hobbies and passion projects are a great way to meet other people and grow your skills.
Better still, they will bring more meaning and value into your life.